Thursday, January 25, 2007

Get to Know Me!

You're not truly awake until the first fart of the day. In that spirit here is my first blog that isn't a regurgitation of a column.

Yesterday I filled out my Blogger's® Profile and one aspect of it ticked me off. I mean, I've done this kind of thing all over the internet and it's always the same. "What are your interests?" "What are your favorite movies?" "What are your favorite books?" Retch.

It's all about creating a jolly happy time and place. It's the Prozac Nation. It's telling me I'm welcome here to be as chipper and positive as all the other brain dead blissed out cult fodder.

OK. I exaggerate. But my point is, if you DON'T really want to know me you say, "Hey, Westofer, Dude, what do you like?" Whereas if you DO want to know me you lay off the dude-speak and you prostate* yourself before me, trembling. Then you wash your hands, filthy monkey, & you offer me a back rub, & you say, "Please, Wes, permit me to know what pisses you off, and all the things that you consider foul, and that spoils the Earth, so that I may do Your Will and Your Will Only and eradicate all of them to the last one and cause great pain to their nether regions on the way out."

So here are just some of my non-interests: I hate team sports. There's no i in team, because I'm not there. Why should I help someone else win something? Why should I even cheer their sorry asses on? I hate all spectator sports, even those involving individual competitors, unless those competitors are scantily clad females twisting their bodies in interesting ways. Female bodies twisting, Yes. Watching ego-bloated strangers compete for pointless points and medals, No.

I hate bigots. This includes not only the usual racists, ethnic bigots, sexists, religious bigots, and people who threaten to beat me up for not caring about the Seahawks, but also large herds of bigots on the fringes of Bigotdom. For example a person I know who says all baby-boomers are bigoted against younger people, is himself a bigot. I once praised the value of Viagra within a committed consensual relationship, and I got hate-mail from an idiot anti-erectionist bigot, who said erections cause rape. I found this most ironic having once been raped as a male-child by an adult (penis-less!) woman using a screwdriver handle. I guess she hadn't got the memo.

I hate ignorance. I don't mean stupidity, which is a great force of nature and inevitable. I'm referring to avoidable ignorance, that which you get by being too lazy to be bothered knowing the truth about matters you choose to meddle in. Ignorance adheres to people with power over others. "People with power" over others includes not only politicians but voters and members of neighborhood groups, if they are deciding policy that severely impacts homeless people. Such people need to stick to their own damn self-determination and stay out of other people's self-determination, until they have the wisdom and insight of gods, i.e. until the end of time.

Later, I will describe movies and books that I hate. Thank you Anitra, for setting this up and making all this possible.

*I spelled it right.

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